Monday, May 4, 2015

Its a ...

BOY! A beautiful baby boy! I knew it all along. Just Kidding. But really I kind of did. Everyone I asked(besides  my grandma, the only one who thought girl) thought it was a boy and I had several dream fairly early on that it was a boy. One where I gave birth in the boy clothing department at Target (that's right) and one where I took HIM to the grocery store and he desperately wanted an $11 box of popsicles and I capitulated stick out in particular. I truly believe that God confirmed in my heart that he was a he to prepare me. I had always thought that I'd want a girl when the time came, mainly because there are no boys in my family and the thought of raising a boy terrified me. Having those dreams got me seriously thinking about raising a little boy and the more I thought the less terrified I became. In fact I started to plan things as though I already knew it was a boy. I started pinning boy nursery ideas and mainly blue shower ideas. I kept telling people that if it wasn't a boy I wasn't going to be disappointed by any means but I would be extremely shocked.

So when the day came me and Josh excitedly got ready (me in a blue shirt which I totally didn't notice until Josh pointed it out later) and hopped in the car making last minute guesses.  It was so funny, when I laid down on the table the ultrasound tech told me to pull up my shirt which ended up taking much longer than it should have because I kept subconsciously pulling it back down! She kept saying pull it up and I would say ok while pulling it back down half a second later! I had to eventually tuck it into my bra and put my hands down. She was like you better get used to it because a lot more than your stomach is going to be showing in a couple months! Thanks for the reminder. Anyway, it seemed like forever as she measured every little part of him before getting to the *ahem* area, but I made sure not to jump the gun and ask beforehand because I'm sure she gets that all the time. FINALLY she said 'Its a boy!" and I said "IT IS?!?" and looked at Josh with the biggest smile ever. She asked me if I had secretly wanted a boy and I said no I just knew it was ;) Josh was excited too because he actually HAD wanted a boy and when the tech made the announcement he said "are you sure?" and she then confirmed it with a very clear picture. Ha. After that we got a couple sweet profile shots of him, my favorite being the one above because he had been moving his little arm like he was waving. It was so amazing to feel him kick or punch and seeing it on the screen at the same time. They weren't able to get the last shot they needed so we are scheduled to go back in a couple weeks for another ultrasound and I'm super excited that we get to see him again so soon.

Both of our families were chomping at the bit to find out. A lot of my family lives out of state so we decided not to do the whole gender reveal party thing and just call everyone to share the news ASAP. It was so sweet, as soon as we got into the parking lot my grandparents were there waiting. My grandma got out of the car to hug me and we made them guess one more time before telling. She stuck to her guns about girl and when we announced boy she said "oh no its the first time I've ever been wrong!" and my grandpa started fist pumping in excitement all over the place. I showed my grandma the ultrasound pictures and my grandpa was reaching through the car window shouting let me see! It made it even more of a special day to have them right there to share in the excitement. After that we face-timed my mom and sister in Wisconsin and my mama cried happy tears. We called my dad and he was just beyond thrilled. We visited Josh's family after grabbing something to eat and they were all so happy. His dad and our brother-in-law were especially excited about him being a him and bonus! His due date is my father-n-laws birthday!

SO, we are both very excited and I'm planning things full force now which has been a lot of fun. We started our registry a couple days after finding out, which was fun for like the first hour but when we were still in the same little section after almost two we decided to give it a rest and come back later. Which we still haven't done. Ha. Oh the other thing that I was really happy about was that we found out the sex before the big garage sales started. I went with my grandma (the garage saleing queen) this past weekend and we got a brand new baby carrier and bouncy seat and snagged a $3 car/wagon thing. Good stuff. I'm so excited to be visiting my mom and sisters in WI this coming weekend. My one sister probably wont be able to make it to the shower so I'm happy to spend some time with her while pregnant since I probably wont see her until little boy makes his appearance. I have high hopes of shower planning, lots of laughs, pedicures, and my mamas cooking. I can't wait! Well that's all for now!


Sunday, April 19, 2015

The Big Long First Trimester Post Plus a Little More

We’re having a baby! I figured that was a pretty good reason to get back to blogging after a year’s hiatus. If you can call it a hiatus when you only really blogged for a few months to begin with. Whatever. Anyway, I wanted to start this up again if for no other reason than to record this new stage in our lives. It’s been a very joyful, queasy, and exciting ride thus far!

I’ll start at the beginning. Let me rewind to this past Christmas. My mom and sister were in town for the holidays and all was well until I contracted a nasty bout of bronchitis which rendered me useless for the last half of their stay. After they had gone home I continued to convalesce and ended up having to take prilosec for the first time ever. The antibiotics I was on had done a real number on my stomach. WELL I ended up with every side effect listed on the stupid box. Who even thinks of side effects with prilosec?! Its so common I didn’t even think there were any. Anyway, queue the migraines, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and fatigue. I remember thinking, as I was bent over the toilet for the first time since I was like twelve, this is making me really glad I’m not pregnant right now. Oh, the foreshadowing.

 Fast forward a few weeks, the medicine is finally leaving my system and I’m beginning to feel like a human being again and it’s my husband’s birthday. I’m ten days late but honestly think nothing of it because I’ve been known to skip whenever there’s a change in the norm, sickness and medication having been culprits. Anyway, I tell my husband and we decide to pick up a test just to rule it out. So into the bathroom I go just POSITIVE that we just wasted 16 bucks and I’m about to see a single line when BAM! No faint lines about it, there before me lies a bold as can be plus sign! My jaw literally dropped. It was getting to the point where we weren’t even sure if it was possible so to say that I was shocked is an understatement. I grabbed it and ran out of the bathroom panting ‘oh my gosh oh my gosh”, Josh sat bolt upright on the couch and said “what?!’, his eyes big as dinner plates and I just nodded my head yes and said “Happy Birthday!”

After the shock wore off we promptly called our families and told them the good news, all of the creative and pinterest-y announcement ideas out the window. I was just too excited! A few days later we went to the doctor for confirmation and got out first ultrasound of baby bean at 6 weeks. I was so ready for this! I resolved right away to start eating as healthy as possible and to start treadmilling it up after work and I did…for 2 days. And then it hit me; the soul crushing, life draining, horribly named “morning sickness”. I kid you not it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure (I know labor and breast feeding are coming so I’ll check back later to let you know if that changes). I think the hardest part was how unprepared I was. I mean, I would hear morning sickness and think ‘oh yeah I might get nauseous every once in a while but it’ll pass, it’s just part of this beautiful thing called pregnancy! After all, my mom didn’t have ANY morning sickness at all with any of us! I’ll be fine”.

Um no.  I was literally nauseous 24/7 and puking upwards of 10 times a day for 10 weeks. There was no break and no relief during that entire time. And you know what’s funny? Even now writing this where others might happen to read it makes me feel like I should be ashamed for “complaining” about it. The thing is, I want to be honest about how I felt because 1) it’s just true and it’s my story and 2) On the slim chance some poor girl googles “coping with morning sickness” like I did multiple times to save my sanity, she will see that she is not alone.

SO, there I was 6 weeks pregnant with what I knew was a precious gift growing inside of me and yet all I could think about was survival. It was so hard to comprehend that it was possible to be that sick for weeks or months. I remember lying on my bed thinking “how am I going to do this? “ I could barely walk down the hall without having to throw up. I seriously became a pro. I remember telling my boss at one point that I could basically throw up on command and that it was just a matter of holding off as long as possible.  Every smell in the house was suddenly repulsive, even good ones. I had to change deodereant, hand soaps, and my shampoo because yes, I did puke in the shower. Cooking ANYTHING became off limits, even pillows and blankets suddenly had a smell. My poor dog had to maintain a 5 foot radius around me at all times and I lived on crackers, grapes, tortillas, and applesauce.

I ended up having to reduce my work schedule and honestly didn’t see anyone other than my husband and coworkers until around week 10 when my friend insisted on coming over to binge watch Netflix with me and hold my hair back. I would literally cry to my husband every day and by cry I mean SOB sometimes uncontrollably. We would joke that it was the hormones but honestly I think it had a lot more to do with the fact that every day felt like too much and I just couldn’t handle it and the only way to keep going was to let it out. Coworkers and friends would ask me almost daily how I was feeling and I started to dread it because I felt bad saying “like death” every time. I just wanted to scream “this isn’t a cold! I’m not going to feel better in a week in fact I might very well be feeling like this for another 7 months!’ I knew people were being nice but it felt like I was disappointing everyone. People want to rejoice with you when they find out you’re pregnant and I simply couldn’t do it. When people asked me if I was excited I would plaster the smile on and say yes! So excited! But in reality I just wasn’t and I felt SO GUILTY. I began to google prenatal depression, fearing that it was a real possibility. I remember calling my mom and saying “this isn’t me!” I had waited my entire life to become a mom! Being a stay at home wife and mother had been my dream from a very young age and I just couldn’t believe that it had finally happened and I couldn’t muster up the excitement that I knew I should be feeling! My baby board on pinterest was bursting at the seams but now, nothing. I had no interest in picking name, decorating a nursery, planning a shower, or researching baby gear, all things that I thought I would be thrilled to do an d the guilt was overwhelming. My husband (who was an absolute angel/ superman through this whole thing), my mom, and anyone I confided in all told me that what I was feeling was completely normal for what I was going through and that once I started to feel better physically the rest would follow. During that time feeling better seemed so far away but I clung to the promise that it would pass, even if it wasn’t until that little babe was in my arms, it WOULD pass.

Around 12 weeks the puking dwindled down to 2 times a day (although the nausea persisted) and I felt hope. Week 14 brought my sister-in-law’s baby shower for her first (due in May!) and it kindled that excitement that I had been longing for. I started to plan my own shower and even took a little trip to Babies R Us a few days later. On the first day of week 16 I woke up and just laid there in disbelief. It was GONE. Just gone! As though someone had flipped a switch! I went to work that day and without me saying anything I had people coming up to me asking if I felt better and telling me I looked great! It was amazing. I am 19.5 weeks as I write this and I have woken up every morning for the past three and a half weeks praising Jesus and thanking Him for blessing me with every sick free day that goes by. I am back to eating healthy, in fact I am STARVING approximately every 2 hours. I’ve started stashing Kind bars in my purse, car, and desk.  One of the great things about the timing of my feeling better is that it coincided with some of the first real spring like days we’ve had. This Easter was especially significant because I truly felt like I had experienced new life in more ways than one. I had survived the dark days of winter and entered into this new season with joy and LIFE! I’m looking out of my window right now at the sun shining and a glorious 73 degrees wind blowing and I am loving the fact that I can go take a nice walk, take a deep breath, and NOT PUKE. Ha.

In other news, I felt the baby kick for the first time last weekend as we were sitting in a Bob Evan’s waiting for our food and it was just as amazing as everyone says it is. It didn’t feel like butterfly wings though, more like bubbles popping. So cool. Also, apparently my stomach finally decided to pop right around that time too which I am so excited about! I finally look pregnant and not like I just gained ten pounds. I LOVE it. Oooo our gender reveal ultrasound is happening this week and I can’t wait! I have had a few dreams that it is a boy and have been planning everything in my head as if it is. The funny thing is that I always thought that when the time came that I would want a girl but ever since having those dreams and really thinking about having a little boy I can honestly say I’m going to be thrilled either way!

That’s all for now!




Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Weekend Things

I have had a great couple of weekends! I'm sure that is partly due to the gorgeous weather we've been having (it's been perfect. I'm talking Toy Story style clouds in the sky and everything) And partly lots of husband time and seeing friends for the first time in like 2 months. A recap:

• Me and Josh went for a picnic! We haven't done that in almost 3 years amd neither of us can figure out why. It was so nice. We were just sitting in the couch trying to decide what to do for lunch when the though popped into my mind. I asked josh what he though and he was all about it. We didn't have much in the way of sandwich fixins so I threw some fruit and pop chips into our basket ( an actual picnic basket if picked up a garage sale!) and headed to subway for sandwiches. Kind of cheating but oh well. We went to the park where we met and spread our blanket up on a hill and under a tree. It was glorious. We ate, people watched, napped, and talked. The perfect date in my opinion. 

• We went to see the new X-man movie with a group of friends and then headed to STEAK N' SHAKE afterwards. For those of you that don't know, Steak N' Shake is open until like 3 am and is therefore teenage central. We were severely outnumbered but it was fun in a nostalgic kind of way. It made this 26 year old feel young and reallyyyyy old at the same time. Hey, it was nice being out past 10 pm. 

• One of our friends informed is that there would be a huge meteor shower happening Saturday night so me and Josh decided to sit on the roof and watch. He had me go up first and told me he'd be right back. He came out with blankets and candles. So cute. We only saw one shooting star but that was enough for me *swoon*

• We had a bonfire at our house. I love doing this. I get all the food ready while Josh cuts the grass and sets out all the chairs and whatnot. It was just a few of out closest which makes it so comfortable and easy. I purposely left my phone in the house so I could thoroughly enjoy the stars and the friendship surrounding me. It was wonderful. After everyone left me and Josh put down a blanket by the fire and and just talked. It was one of those dream talks. The kind where you just spill your heart and soul and all your aspirations for the future. Loved it.

• I made lots of time for zee physical fitness this weekend. Me and my friend hit the fitness track at 6:30 on Friday morning and it was so much better jogging while watching the sunrise as opposed to the ab circuit at PF. I mean, I still love my gym membership but this was refreshing. I ran outside two more times which is something I'm working on. I can run like the energizer bunny on a treadmill but I really want to be able to run a 5k by the end of the summer. Josh even got on board! He went for a late night run and it was actually pretty romantic. It was so quiet, just the frogs, our footsteps, and breathing. And this amazing cloud that lit up the entire time. 

• I've started painting and I have found it to be remarkably therapeutic! Me and a friend had a crafting afternoon and I had had painting at the back of my mind so I went to Michaels, bought ALL the Martha Stewart colors, and went to town. It makes me happy. 

• I finished the Divergent series. I can't even...

• My husband and I and a couple friends decided to visit a new local church and we loved it! It's very small but very personal which is something we've been sorely lacking at our current church. I'm extremely shy and I need people to want to get to know me or else it doesn't happen. I'm trying to work on that but as it was the people at this church were coming to me, and I really appreciated it. Also, there's a fantastic BBQ joint right next door and this happened. 

• I went on bike ride with a friend that turned out to be like finding treasure! We rode up to a familiar park only to find that they had created the most magical 13 mile bike path behind it! It was all trees, sunset, and wildflowers. Gorgeous. 

• Memorial Day! We didn't have plans until late so we slept in, got lunch, walked around a park then went to my grandparents for a little cookout where my dad joined us. He was in the Air Force and is now in the National Guard so we like to make it special for him. Although, he is on the verge of taking his fit test soon so I brought roasted veggies and those healthy brownie bites made from dates which he dubbed downies. After that we went to a friends for the second bonfire that weekend. A perfect ending. 

And now it's Wednesday. And it's raining.  Welcome back real life. Here's hoping for another great weekend! 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Catch up

Life had been pretty good lately! Here's a bit about what's been filling my days. 

1) Garage saling. I live for garage sales. It has been deeply ingrained in me by my mother and grandmother to the  worriment of my husband. There are a few sales that we wait for every year and it's quite the event. Well, for old ladies like me that is. I went with my friend this year and we bumped into my nana a couple times during the hunt ;) I took home a purse, 3 dvd's, a shirt, 6 books, Christmas and fall decorations, and a galvanized tub for $22! It's wonderful I tell you. 
2) I started a 31 day scripture challenge on Instagram hosted by the lovely Kristin Schmucker. Everyday you take a picture and write about what you've been reading. I've loved being encouraged by all the other photos I see as well as being held accountable to be in His word everyday. It's been quite a blessing thus far. 
3) I started an herb garden and I just love it. It has satisfied my gardening bug enough to last me until the weather really warms up. I plan on doing a vegetable garden this year and have already planted 5 raspberry bushes, a bing cherry tree, and have a random strawberry patch coming in nicely. My little planter is already looking a little wild so I need to start actual using the herbs instead of just smelling them ;)
4) I made homemade whipped cream to put on my strawberries on a whim. It was wonderful. That is all. 
5) We got to babysit my in-laws beagle, Sophie. I call her little watermelon because, well, she is very reminiscent of one. She's as sweet as can be and was a joy to have around the house even for a few hours. We went for a walk and she just snuggled on down with us until it was time for her to leave. 
6) My friend and I went to Royal Oak to have lunch and do a little browsing. We ended up at a great restaurant called Pronto and we both ordered the vegetarian farmers market sandwich and it was fantastic! Herbed cream cheese. Mmmm. We also hit up trader joes (my first time!) and I spent way to much money...a comom issue with customers, I hear. 
Until next time!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Sugar is the Devil

So I've been doing pretty good about my new way of eating. I went 4 weeks with absolutely NO sugar. Vegetables, meat (organic), eggs (organic), and fruit (only low sugar, so basically berries). It was amazing. My skin was clearer, I wasn't bloated, and I could wake up at 5:30 to hit the gym with no problem. All good. Fast forward to last Sunday. My dad was coming for a visit so I decided to make him a good dinner: lasagna and chocolate cake. I ate well all day and was feeling fine. We had dinner around 7 and I had a small helping of both. No big deal! I was still feeling good and knew I'd be right back on track the next day. NOT SO MUCH. I woke up the next morning feeling like I got hit by a truck. I was exhausted, light headed,  nauseous, had a runny nose, and my contacts felt like they were super glued to my eyes all day long. Not to mention the loooovely mood it put me in. I mean all the above sypmtoms plus 11 hours of preschool are enough to make any person crabby but it was more that. I just felt like crying. I got home and just crashed. The only perk was that it got me a bunch of extra foot rubbing and arm tickling from Josh. 

You would think I would have earned my lesson right? Well not I. The lasagna/cake incident occurred on Monday and on Wednesday I got a couple very sweet teacher appreciation gifts, one being a planter filled with Hershey kisses. One of my weaknesses to be sure. This will demonstrate the depth of my will power which is none. None will power. I mean c'mon! I'm a good teacher darn it! And a hungry one at that. I deserve theseeeeee. I did have smarts enough to pass the candy around the daycare first so that I wasn't left with 5lbs of chocolate but still. 10 kisses later and I was out. It happened quite a bit faster this time and right in the middle of my shift. Exhaustion, runny nose and eyes, nausea, and just a general fuzziness. To be honest, I don't really know what to call it. I don't know if it's just an intolerance to sugar? An allergy? Whatever it is it's not good and I don't want to feel like that anytime soon, ESPECIALLY since it's mostly under my control. 

That being said it's still really hard. I'm supposed to be getting a laparoscopy soon to see if I have endometriosis. Regardless I know that I have PCOS. Right now those two things to be the most bothersome. Last night even though I'd been feeling a little better (recovering from the sugar come) I started to get some pretty bad pelvic pain out of no where and just started to cry. It wasn't that it hurt that bad, it was that it feels like there's always something. I NEVER feel good and Its very disconcerting to know that even my hormones are being effected and there may not be much I can do about it. I know that by eating better and living a healthy lifestyle I can go control a lot of what's going on with me and I know it's true. When I was doing really well I felt a lot better, but it wasn't completely gone. Whatever is giving me issues besides the PCOS is making things difficult.  Maybe it's endometriosis maybe it isn't but whatever it is, it's making me feel like it's getting in the way of my progress with PCOS and fibromyalgia and all the other sugar related issues I have. Ugh. This was quite the rant but I feel better having got it off my chest. I know that I can do better and I know my Jesus will get me through the difficult days. He already has. And even though I just listed off all the negative from the last few days, there has been plenty of joy mixed in and plenty of love as well. I've been back on track the past two days and am feeling better already. I'm gonna keep it up! I know this will be a long road but I've got a wonderful family, friends, and great God to her me though! 

Love & Prayers,

Monday, May 5, 2014

The Hillary Trip

My little sister is all grown up! At least it feels that way now. She just rented her very first apartment and it is adorable! She found a little studio above a deli in the downtown area where she lives and oh my goodness. It's just so cute. Not only is the apartment great but the area is too! There's a great deli and bakery right beneath her, a coffee house a 2 minute walk away, tons of little boutiques, and a quaint little park within walking distance. 

A little background: me and my sister are extremely close. Like we have out own sister language kinda close. So, consequently, when she moved 7 hours away last year it was a big adjustment. We went from seeing each other practically everyday to 4 times a year. Boo.  

Thus, the long awaited Hillary Trip. I was beyond excited to not only see my sweet seester, gorge on all the good food, watch Sherlock together ( which I still haven't finished so shhhh 😉), but to see what she had done with her new place. When me and my husband moved into our house I consulted her on pretty much every decorating decision and with good reason. She has a wonderful eye for decorating and is able to do so on a limited budget. I knew she would do the same in her new home and she did! 

We started for WI on Friday. I drove there with my dad and it was so nice having some quality daddy/daughter time to catch up. When we arrived she was standing in front of her place waiting to welcome us. She took us up right away to 147 1/2 {platform 9 3/4 anyone?}, up the poky stair case, and into her little home. 

Once we unloaded all out luggage we headed  downstairs to grab lunch at the Deli, which was fantastic. 

Afterwards we decided to explore the city and ended up at a cozy little coffee house and stayed long enough to finish our 3 cafe au laits. From there we circled around to the bakery by her apartment and ordered strawberry rhubarb bars, turtle brownies, and bread pudding to go.

We took out goodies back upstairs and relaxed for awhile before me and Hillary decided to hit up a couple of stores and pay a visit to my mom. Pier 1 was our first stop and I was able to buy her the house warming gift I had planned on and found it on clearance to boot! It was a little hanging pot rack, perfect for her kitchen. After we saw my mom and my baby sister Bliss, we ran to the store to grab snacks and did some good ole' fashion boy watching ;) When we got home we decided to make a couple Pinterest recipes for dinner. We made million dollar spaghetti and dole whips, both of which were delicious. 

We ended the night by watching the firrst episode of Sherlock. Getting ready for bed was quite a feat. The daybed, trundle, and cot made for a very cozy sleeping arrangement but that was part of the fun. 

The next day my sister had to work and my dad went around doing dad things. He bought her an adorable little bistro set for her kitchen and put it together then went to work on her car. 

I took that time to spend time with my mom and little sister. We had a lovely afternoon just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. That evening we drove to my aunts house to meet her newly adopted daughter from Haiti! I was so thrilled to meet Anaika. We have been praying for this little gis arrival for three years and it was such a blessing to finally meet her. She is a precious, happy, playful 6 year old who spreads joy wherever she goes. How appropriate that her middle name is Joy :) 

One of my moms nicknames for me is Gita. She called me that one time over dinner and it stuck. Anika loved it and giggled every time she said it. Since then she keeps asking when Gita is coming over and I can't wait to see her again! In the mean time I decide to send her a sticker book and mail her different stickers each month. I loved having a sticker book (and loved putting it together probably more than I should have) and I hope she will too! 

That evening me and Hill stayed up into the wee hours just talking and laughing while dad snored on his cot. The next day me, Hill, and dad went to a really interesting little cafe calls the Cafe de Art. The building was so pretty and the food was fantastic. I got the Mediterranean breakfast sandwich, dad got the European, and my sister got the home-made yogurt with granola. All the meals came with a lovely salad topped with oranges and pepper rubbed apples and huge cups of coffee. 

The whole time we were there my dad kept asking "is that a hipster?" He find the whole culture fascinating but is very confused as to what makes a person a hipster. We had fun filling him in ;)  Later that day my dad went back to car/ apartment maintenance (what a sweet dad!) and I went with my mom and sister. We did a Target run and some shoe shopping and that evening everyone met up for dinner at Panera. 

The next morning my dad went shopping and me and Hill slept in and had a late breakfast of waffles as we sat at her new breakfast nook by the window. 

 (The Broughton girls first thing in the morning. She would be so upset 😂😱)

We eventually got ready, cleaned up the place, and added a few finishing touches. We hung a few pictures together, and she drew a pretty flower border above the sink ( the landlord actually thought to use chalkboard paint which we thought was very Pinteresty for a 40 year old man).

 We were able to take her to work and said our goodbyes there. I had a wonderful trip and can't wait to see her again this summer! Until then we'll just have to continue communication through our preferred method...memes ;)